Is Our Identity Just the Sum of Our Habits? 7 Fascinating Insights You Should Know

We all know the well-known quote often attributed to Charles Reade:

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Even if this is admittedly a romanticized idea that is often repeated, there is a certain truth in it. But is our character really just the sum of our habits?

Habits Shape Our Lives

Your habits determine your daily routine: when you get up, how you work and organize your breaks, whether you exercise, how much time you devote to hobbies, and which rituals you maintain with your children or within your family. Some habits, such as healthy eating and physical activity, are beneficial; others, such as endlessly scrolling through social media or smoking a victory cigar after a successful deal, are less useful — and there are even quirky habits, such as buying all your clothes in pink.

As Reade’s quote suggests, it is often claimed that our identity is essentially nothing more than the sum of our habits.

Every morning you wake up at the same time, make yourself a coffee, and read the newspaper. This routine gives you a sense of stability and structure. But is that really part of your identity, or simply a habit?

To answer this question, I explored relevant research and found several publications with empirical studies examining the relationship between identity and habit.

The 7 Key Insights

1. Our habits are not necessarily tied to our identity, especially trivial ones like nail-biting.
2. People differ in the habits they develop, and therefore in which habits, if any, become part of their identity.
3. Even non-habitual behaviors can be part of a person’s identity. For example, someone might love traveling and exploring new countries but do so only occasionally.
4. Identity feelings derived from habits are linked to cognitive, impulsive, and motivational facets of the self. Someone who exercises regularly will see themselves as an athletic person.
5. Some habits are more clearly tied to identity than others, especially those that express lasting goals or values — for example, training regularly or abstaining from alcohol.
6. People whose habits are strongly tied to their sense of identity tend to have greater cognitive independence, higher self-esteem, and a stronger drive toward their ideal self. Examples include reading a daily newspaper or regularly attending professional development events.
7. The self functions as an “individual center of gravity,” encompassing cognitive, emotional, motivational, and behavioral aspects. The strength of this “gravitational pull” varies from person to person. For some, the self seems to have a relatively loose structure; for others, it is much more coherent. In the latter case, habits play an important role in this structure and thus form part of the identity.

Further Interesting Findings

A study by Wendy Wood and David T. Neal shows that about 40 % of our daily behavior is driven by habits. However, this does not necessarily mean that these 40 % also define our identity.

Another interesting finding comes from research by Phillippa Lally, who discovered that it takes an average of 66 days for a new action to become a habit. This highlights the dynamic and changeable nature of our behavioral patterns — which in turn means that our identity can also be flexible.

Who Am I?

It can therefore be concluded that there is no clear causal relationship between habits and identity. Nevertheless, for most people there is a clear connection between their habits and their sense of self.

With this in mind, it is always worthwhile to consciously reflect on the questions: “Who am I?”, “Who do I want to be?”, and “Which habits must I adopt or give up to achieve this?”

Relevance for Leaders

For you as a leader, this also plays an important role in a professional context. Ask yourself: “What kind of leader do I want to be?” Analyzing your daily work habits is often the first milestone toward further development.

You can read more about how to turn positive and impactful leadership behaviors into lasting habits in my book The Hero’s Journey of a Leader – How to Become the Best Version of Yourself as a Leader.

Sources: Bas Verplanken & Jie Su: Habit and Identity – Behavioral, Cognitive, Affective and Motivational Facets of an Integrated Self, Frontiers in Psychology 2019