A summer evening on the coast.
The table is set, the children quietly argue over the color of the lemonade, the sun sinks over the water. Everything seems ready for a moment of peace — if it weren’t for the phone lying on the table between the fork and the breadbasket.
A vibration. A call from the company. Maybe important, maybe not.
“I’ll just pick up quickly,” I say. Five minutes, I think. It becomes thirty.
When I come back, the food is cold and the mood has shifted. The kids are whining, my partner is silent. I try to justify myself. I wasn’t on social media. I was working. For us. For this vacation. For a life that offers security and opportunities.
And yet: I wasn’t there. Not really.
Performance has its price — and it’s often paid in private
Many in leadership positions know these moments. The constant mental presence, the “I’ll just quickly check,” the late-night hours in the dim light of a hotel room while everyone else is already asleep.
Of course: those who want to achieve something must be willing to give more than others. A career doesn’t run itself, and leadership always means stepping outside your comfort zone. But at some point, the balance tips. Performance turns into constant tension. Commitment turns into permanent availability.
Not because someone demands it of us, but because we don’t allow ourselves to switch off.
Work as the new religion
In many conversations with executives, one thing is clear: work today is far more than a way to earn a living.
It is identity, purpose, status. The first question when meeting someone is often, “What do you do for a living?” And the answer is not only used for classification but also for evaluation.
Especially in academic circles, among leaders and self-employed people, the hamster wheel is rarely called by its name. It’s then called “purpose,” “project,” or “passion.”
Creative capitalism has succeeded in selling self-realization through the paycheck — and many buy into it willingly.
The result: permanent availability is mistaken for responsibility.
Those who are always online believe themselves indispensable and often realize too late that they are losing themselves in the process.
Three observations from my work with executives
- Constant availability doesn’t replace real leadership.
Those who are reachable around the clock send one message above all: mistrust of their own team. Good leadership needs delegation — not permanent presence. - Recovery is not weakness.
Those who never switch off don’t become more productive but less clear in their thinking. I know many who returned from vacation more exhausted than when they left. - Self-leadership begins with boundaries.
Those who don’t allow themselves breaks lose not only their energy over time but also their judgment — and that is indispensable in leadership.
Conclusion: If you want to lead, you must first take yourself seriously
Today I handle availability differently, too.
I’m reachable when necessary, but no longer always.
I answer when something is urgent, but no longer by reflex.
I consciously take time. For myself, for my family, for my development.
Not as a counter-model to performance, but as a prerequisite for it.
Because leadership needs presence. Not only in the company but also in life.
If you feel like you’re constantly on stand-by during your vacation, that’s not a sign of commitment but a sign that something is no longer well balanced.
That’s exactly what coaching can address: creating structures that allow you to be effective again — without losing yourself.
If you want, we can talk about it. Non-binding, but concrete.