The Success Formula for Leaders: Challenge, Coach, Confront – Part 3
In the first two parts of our blog series, we explored the key principles of challenging and coaching. Challenging is about creating an environment where employees receive clear expectations and are pushed to reach their full potential. This not only boosts performance but also builds confidence and satisfaction within the team.
The second part focused on coaching—a crucial leadership task that provides support and guidance. Coaching enables leaders to accompany employees through decision-making processes and help them overcome obstacles. It is, however, a balancing act between demanding and encouraging that requires empathy.
Confrontation – A Difficult but Necessary Step
The third and final element is confrontation. This becomes necessary when people do not respond to the phases of challenging and coaching. Many leaders tend to avoid confrontation by ignoring the problem, hoping that no one will notice or that it will disappear on its own.
I have also seen leaders come up with weak excuses to remove someone without constructive feedback or a fair process—for example, through minor reorganizations. They deliberately eliminate the position to get rid of a specific person and may even offer severance pay depending on their hierarchical level.
This cowardly approach is an HR nightmare but unfortunately still widespread. The affected employee never receives essential feedback, while the rest of the team grows frustrated: “Is poor performance rewarded while we carry the extra work?” In most cases, this severely damages company culture.
When handled properly, however, confrontation is the logical next step if someone does not meet the expectations agreed upon during the challenging and coaching phases. This may be because the person is either unable or unwilling to deliver the required performance—both scenarios I have frequently encountered.
Unable or Unwilling to Make the Effort?
It is particularly difficult for a leader to determine whether someone simply lacks the ability to handle the assigned work. This requires explaining how that person ended up in a position beyond their capabilities. Delivering the message that someone’s best effort still isn’t enough, even when they are trying hard, is challenging and often painful.
What should a leader do in such a case? In a large corporation, it may make sense to reassign the employee to a position that better matches their skills. This offers an opportunity to place them where they can perform better, benefiting both the individual and the company. However, there are also situations where reassignment is not possible or where the person repeatedly fails to deliver results despite multiple attempts. When this happens, you should consider whether parting ways is the better solution than moving the employee from one role to another.
It is essential to approach such decisions with empathy while keeping the team’s and the organization’s long-term interests in mind. A clear and fair decision not only maintains performance but also protects the company culture.
If you determine that someone does have the ability but is not willing to apply it or put in the effort, the conversation is much easier. Sometimes it is obvious that a person is talented but simply ignores feedback. They prefer to do things their own way and fail repeatedly. It is unacceptable to let this pattern continue without accountability. If an employee manages to perform adequately for a certain period—even just a few weeks—it proves that the skill is there. Such individuals are consciously choosing not to make the necessary effort.
Influence Versus Control
When you confront someone, the balance of power may shift from influence to control. In some situations, being very direct is necessary. Nevertheless, influence—also known as referent power—remains the preferred way to achieve results, especially at higher leadership levels.
Referent power arises when people are inspired or impressed by a leader and follow them willingly. This is often built on respect or personal admiration, grounded in charisma, moral integrity, or interpersonal skills. A prime example is Satya Nadella, the current CEO of Microsoft, who is known for positively transforming the company’s culture. Nadella exercises referent power not only through his expertise but also through his empathetic, people-centered leadership.
Influence is always the best option, but when there is no response, you may need to rely on more direct forms of authority. For some, the threat of dismissal is the only real motivator. They must receive tough feedback, especially when the consequences could be as serious as termination. Your job is to deliver this message as clearly and unmistakably as possible—while ensuring the conversation remains fair and the employee perceives it that way. If you have done solid work in the challenge and coaching phases, this is almost always achievable.
Remember: when your employees trust and respect you, you can deliver any message. Challenging and coaching give you the opportunity to build that trust and respect. If you have neglected the first two phases, however, confrontation will almost certainly be perceived as unfair and will negatively affect the team.
Applying Challenge, Coach, and Confront Effectively
Now take a moment to reflect on the six leadership competencies in the BeBest Framework from my book The Hero’s Journey of a Leader. You can only apply the Challenge, Coach, Confront concept effectively when you have developed the following core skills:
- A clear focus on value creation, so that you and your team always work on the right priorities.
- The ability to reflect on your actions and manage yourself, addressing conflicts proactively and strategically.
- The capacity to remain calm and composed under stress, ensuring your team stays focused and avoids distractions.
- The ability to act decisively amid uncertainty and turn it into clarity for your team.
- Determination, perseverance, and the willingness to hold people accountable when they fail to meet commitments.
- The creation of a decision-making culture that rewards speed, judgment, and calculated risk-taking.
Developing and applying these skills makes a consistent focus on respect over popularity particularly valuable. This includes:
- Recognizing every person’s right to decide how they present themselves and behave.
- A genuine commitment to your duty of care, ensuring everyone receives the feedback they need to make informed choices.
- A deep desire to put the well-being of your employees and team above your own comfort, combined with the ability and willingness to deal with difficult and unpleasant situations.
Strong leaders master this framework and use the tools in my book to develop excellence in leadership. When you apply the principle of Challenge, Coach, Confront, not only your employees but your entire environment benefits.
Will you apply the Challenge, Coach, Confront approach in the future, or have you already gained experience with it? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
The Challenge, Coach, Confront approach was developed by Martin Moore, author of the excellent book No Bullsh!t Leadership. The idea for this article series is based on his core principles, designed to show leaders how to challenge their teams, coach effectively, and set clear consequences when expectations are not met.