“31? We can’t hire her – that’s obvious.”
That was the sentence I overheard in a conversation between two HR women. They were discussing an external position for which a woman had applied. Professionally outstanding, personally a perfect fit – and yet: a single “but” overshadowed everything.
I can already hear the outcry over such a statement in 2025. But this reality is still far more widespread than many think. In the BeBest! podcast, Flurina Baumann and I regularly talk with very successful women. Many of them report the same thing: the period between 30 and 35 was the hardest of their careers.
Despite performance, focus, and ambition: no promotion, no offer, no progress. Career pause – not by choice.
Family planning as a career killer
Family planning is still seen as a risk – rarely spoken out loud, but often assumed. The list of unspoken assumptions is familiar:
- She’ll be pregnant soon anyway.
- Who stays home when the child is sick?
- Another baby will probably follow.
- Mothers aren’t fully focused.
Such statements are seldom voiced openly – and therefore have an even more lasting effect. They shift careers – not on the basis of performance, but on assumptions.
Although many companies now promote work–family balance, create flexible working-time models, and offer childcare support, these clichés remain stubbornly persistent.
As a man, I don’t presume to judge these perspectives conclusively. But it’s a fact we can’t ignore, and it makes the career path much harder for many talented women. Fighting this deeply rooted prejudice often feels like tilting at windmills.
Career boost thanks to male mentors?
Now it gets controversial. Surprisingly many women say: their decisive career step didn’t come from a women’s network – but from a man.
Not out of favoritism, but out of conviction.
Often it was an experienced manager who dared to act against prejudice – because he judged performance instead of life choices.
At the same time, many conversations reveal tensions between women. There are initiatives and women’s networks that try to close exactly this gap by encouraging women to promote and support one another. Supportive networks are important – but real alliances are rarer than they appear. Maybe it’s because the space at the top is tight. Maybe it’s social conditioning. A topic for another newsletter.
Two strategies that really help – especially when things get tough
So what to do? How can you navigate the challenging phase between 30 and 35, when invisible walls block your career? From countless podcast conversations, two core pieces of advice have crystallised for me:
- Find your ally – even if they don’t look like you.
Deliberately seek out an experienced decision-maker in your environment – usually a man, often over 50. Not as a principle, but because many of them have long recognised what true performance is. - Composure is not retreat, but focus.
Approach this time with composure, because you won’t be able to refute every prejudice. But you can show what you’re capable of. Focus on your impact: performance, network, presence. Visibility is not a coincidence, but a strategy.
Bottom line: the career dip between 30 and 35 is real – but not a law of nature.
Anyone who finds themselves in this phase doesn’t need pep talks but clear strategies and strong allies.
Have you had similar experiences? Or advice for women in this phase?
Feel free to listen to our BeBest! podcast to get inspired by successful women.