Do you know the most important—and yet most neglected—leadership principle?
Some time ago, I took part in an online seminar led by management expert Darren Hardy. The topic was “The Keystone Principle of Leadership,” which his communications team described as the key leadership principle.
At that time, I was deep into writing my book “The Phoenix Principle: Paths to New Motivation and Excellence in Leadership” and had already interviewed more than 85 seasoned top executives on leadership principles. So I was very eager to hear Darren Hardy’s insights.
Lead by Example: A well-known principle
Darren got straight to the point: “The most important and most violated principle of leadership: Lead by Example.”
I had already encountered this principle nearly 40 years ago—before my professional career even began. As a young non-commissioned officer of barely 20, I had to turn a “random group of people” into a cohesive unit and motivate the team to give their best, even in tough situations.
Spending so much time with my soldiers, I quickly realized that my own actions and values set the standard for them. I felt firsthand how powerful role modeling can be—and how challenging it is to live up to this principle consistently. Being a good example, even on a bad day, requires tremendous self-discipline.
Leading by example—because people imitate their leaders
Darren argues that people primarily learn through imitation, also known as observational learning. Children mirror their parents’ behavior; later, employees model themselves on professional role models.
According to Hardy, leaders set the benchmark for:
- Personal commitment and availability
- Quality of performance
- Customer and service orientation
- Cost awareness
By living their values and actions, leaders demonstrate which behaviors are welcomed and which are not.
Is leading by example really contagious?
One common objection: Leading by example isn’t very contagious. People often applaud the call for senior management to practice what they preach, but reality frequently disappoints.
Most employees notice a leader’s example but do not automatically copy it. Typically only ambitious juniors or a few loyal team members follow suit. The reason is simple: employees see their leaders as having different tasks and responsibilities.
Cynics even claim that negative behavior spreads fastest: a manager who cuts corners—whether by stretching coffee breaks, jumping queues in the cafeteria, or bending rules—lowers the threshold for others to do the same.
Still, this proves that we do learn by imitation, positively and negatively. Social learning theory, largely developed by Albert Bandura and linked to the concept of mirror neurons, shows that people learn by observing and reproducing others’ actions, not just during childhood but throughout life.
What truly matters
Despite these objections, consistency between words and actions remains critical. Leadership credibility collapses when management preaches thrift while renovating its own executive suite in luxury.
An excellent leader never demands from employees what they are unwilling to demonstrate themselves—whether it’s flexibility, perseverance, or the determination to see projects through to the end.
Authenticity leads to leadership excellence
Many experienced executives view authenticity as the key to outstanding leadership. When words and actions align, leading by example remains one of the most vital leadership principles.
What is your own experience with role modeling in the workplace?
Your path to leadership excellence
In my books “The Hero’s Journey of a Leader – How to Become the Best Version of Yourself as a Leader” and “The Phoenix Principle: Paths to New Motivation and Excellence in Leadership,” I show how leaders can sharpen their skills and guide teams to exceptional results. Both books provide practical strategies and fresh inspiration to help you lead with authenticity and impact.